Tonight we take on the Oscars-and the naked boy in the house next to The Dyke-he was JUGGLING for the love of Pete. After The Jump:
Dyke: hey let's get this show on the road!
Dyke: hey let's get this show on the road!
The Fag: Yeah Baby!
The Dyke:DOOGIE! he's great...although his voice is a bit flat, don't ya think?
5:34 PM The Fag: Its super gay! I love it
The Fag:Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin desending like Angels! LOL
The Dyke: hot
5:39 PM The Fag: Sandra Bulluck is gorgeous tonight!
The Dyke: yeah she is. I love her-she has SOOOO much class.
I rarely like her movies, but I love watching her at shows like this because she's just so damn sweet.
5:40 PM The Dykeon woody harrelson "He's so HIGH"! awesome
The Fag: LOL! I know!
The Fag: Its a vague attempt to call him irrelevent...*yawn*
The Dyke: oh that's ridiculous...
5:46 PM I adore woody harrelson
Also I was totally unaware that there is a movie about Tolstoy-and once again, Russian characters with British accents-does NOT make sense
5:48 PM The Fag: For real! Hollywood love British accents! I think from now on all hollywood period pieces should be in a Kentucky accent
The Dyke: agreed
I knew Christoph Waltz would win-BUt I secretly wished Stanley Tucci would win
5:49 PM The Fag: My voting style is more in line with E! in which it all depends on who I wanna see in their underwear.
5:51 PM The Fag: Ryan Reynolds... Yummy. Blindside looks like such a good movie!
The Dyke: The Blind Side to me is a just a movie for white people to congratulate themselves on seeing a movie about a poor black person that got saved by another white person-and the white people watching the movie can believe that they could never be racist because they liked that movie.
Guess we disagree on that movie! (I have not seen it, so I could be totally wrong about that)
The Fag: It was a cute movie!
The Dyke: I like the acceptance speeches at the golden globes better-they're drunk there
6:00 PM The Fag: HAHA!! "This goes out to Johnny Smith my High School Boyfriend...You Suck!"
The Dyke: nice!
6:01 PM oh Miley Cirus... cyrus... that dress looks HORRIBLE
6:02 PM The Fag: She needs to stand up straight...Ugh she bothers me
6:03 PM The Dyke: yeah me too...I don't know if that dress would work even if she stopped slouching though
The Fag: Sweetie, her face wouldnt even work if she stopped slouching
6:04 PM The Dyke:
I'm glad T Bone Burnett won best song-I really like him, like his music, and he deserves it
6:05 PM The Fag: "I love you more than rainbows"...He lost a bet, I know it!
The Dyke: yeah totally!
OR he's completely high
The Fag: My moneys on BOTH
6:06 PM The Dyke: I love district nine, I think it's a really well done movie, it's clever, it has a great sense of history, as well as a sense of humor...it's completely engaging...and it's really smart.
I doubt it will win though
6:07 PM OOOOOOOH can't wait for the tina fey robert downey jr banter...
The Fag: I LOVE TINA FEY!!!
The Dyke: did you see her on Vogue?
6:09 PM The Fag: Yes....shes amazing AND funny
The Fag:
6:16 PM The Dyke: Mark Gold won for screenplay?
6:17 PM oh I really liked his speech
The Fag: Brevity is the soul of wit...
The Dyke: Oh Molly Ringwald-What WERE you thinking?
6:18 PM The Fag: Its very Avant Garde...Im on the fence...
The Dyke: It doesn't work on HER.
It might work on someone else
6:20 PM The Fag: Ur right...Natalie Portman couldve done it
6:21 PM The Dyke: I am loving the John Hughes monatage
He died so young!
6:22 PM WHere is Mary Stuart Masterson?
The Fag: Yes!
6:23 PM The Dyke: This is a really nice tribute
6:25 PM The fag: I know...I loved him!
6:28 PM The fagHAH! Steve Martin has the best 1 liners!
The Dyke: I totally missed it
6:29 PM The Fag: He said he was introducing 2 beautiful actresses because hes tired of bringing out ugly ones. Haha!
6:30 PM The Dyke: NICE
6:31 PM "Telling a great story...THAT'S what is going to win you an academy award"-unless you're James Cameron-then selling the most tickets will win you an award
ugh I'm so disenchanted with the academy.
6:32 PM The Fag: For real...Capitalists...I tell ya
The Dyke: Avatar should win all sorts of technical awards...but it should not have even been nominated for best picture
6:33 PM The Fag: George Clooney is being very Cliquish with that waitress he brought
6:34 PM The Dyke: I know-he always has the best beards with him.
The Fag: HAHA! 4 real!
6:36 PM The Dyke: I love Carey Mulligan, LOVE the dress, and LOVE the hair-although she has been quoted as saying she is sick of it. [ed: THIS would have been more amusing than Ben Stiller]
6:38 PM I really hate ben stiller
THis bit is really really stupid
6:39 PM The Fag: Yeah it kind of is... :-(
6:40 PM I think Star Trek will win [for make-up]
The Dyke: I hope it wins something-I really enjoyed it
6:41 PM Emily Blunt (the young victoria) is just so damn hot. I want to see her unders!
YOU Called it! Star Trek for best make-up!
6:42 PM The Fag: HAHA! They shouldve gotten a Fashion nomination...I didnt see too much make-up
The Dyke: Yeah, I really didn't either-at least not so I remembered it.
The Dyke:
6:49 PM I really like how they read a snippet from the screenplay-it's really interesting
in the best adapted screen play nominees announcement
6:50 PM well, although I bloody LOVE district nine, I am glad a screenplay by and about black people is honored=as in opposition to stuff like Blind Side
6:52 PM I also love that Geoffrey Fletcher is sort of crying in his acceptance speech
The DykeQueen Latifah is SOOOOO hot-my GOD what I wouldn't give to marry her.
6:53 PM Someone told me she's queer and in the closet-could we be so lucky as to have her on our team ? what do you think?
6:54 PM The Fag: I think you should totally hit that! You'd adopt some really cute kids!!
The Dyke: oh man-our kids could rap, act and then do some serious lit theory on that shit
6:55 PM I would certainly love to try to make babies with Queen Latifah
even if we never actually succeeded
Speaking of irrelevant-here's Robin WIlliams
The Fag: OH SNAP! Score: Dyke - 1 Robin - 0
The DykeMONIQUE is GONNA win this. [ed best supporting actress]
6:59 PM The Fag: Its a shame too, I loved Anna Kendrick in 'Camp'
The Dyke: Monique has been SOOOO campaigning for this
7:00 PM The Fag: You called it! She won!!!
7:01 PM The Dyke: Yeah, Anna Kendrick needs to hone her skill a bit more
The Fag: Tyler Perry and Oprah in the same category? Really??
The Dyke: yeah that was stupid. I am glad she brought up Haddie Macdaniels though-
7:03 PM The Fag: That preview for 'An Education' looked great!
7:05 PM The Dyke: I know I totally want to see it
7:06 PM ah sigourney weaver...
too bad she was in Avatar.
I'm all for Avatar winning for production design and set decoration
it's gorgeous
7:07 PM although those are some seriously great competitors
The Fag: I can accept that it won for set design. The landscapes were beautiful...The story didnt really live up to it...
7:08 PM The Dyke: terrible acceptance speech
oh I meant the "jim cameron I see you"
7:09 PM LOVE that Steve Martin said "...and she weighs a single pound" about SJP
7:10 PM also, I thought I loved Sarah's dress-I'm changing my mind, I don't love it so much as hate it.
I hope coco before chanel wins for best costume design
7:11 PM The Fag: Sandy Powell has a vey 20's look...I kinda like it
7:12 PM The Dyke: I was thinking the same thing-she wears it very well, and it's just a great dress
Theron's dress-bad the flowers are on her breasts are hideous
7:13 PM The Fag: I know! It pains me to say cause I love her SO much
7:15 PM The Dyke: oh! so there are a bunch of hipster guys living in the house next to ours, and we have huge windows on our landing-the curtains are off of them right now-I can see into their upstairs bedrooms (as they can see into mine)-and one of the boys just totally stripped down naked-I think he forgot, or doesn't know that I could see him.
I felt sort of perverted, but I also sort of enjoyed it, and hope he does it again
7:16 PM The Fag: OMG! And you didnt take PICS!
7:17 PM Dyke: I need to purchase a camera
DykeOh this is funny, paranormal activity spoof!
7:18 PM LOVE the slap!
oh here's your boy!
[taylor lautner]
He is SOOO nervous
7:19 PM the academy is HONORING horror movies-interesting
THis is the academy attempting to respond to complaints that they are stuffy, old, and pretentious
7:21 PM FAVE quote (from Jezebel.com's live blog):Peter Sarsgaard is the only man in the world who sounds less gay with an English accent.
Fag: HAHA! Love it!
7:22 PM Dyke: there's carry-every fag's fave horror movie
Fag: Hey?! Why didn't they show 'I know what you did last summer' ... Hehe
Dyke: lol
7:23 PM Fag: Awww....Zach just woke up...
7:24 PM Dyke: God DAMN it I try to make my hair look like that-I mean seriously work at it-I have at least a hundred dollars worth of product, and it works about 10% of the time
Fag: Its easy...put all the product in your hair...do nothing...then take a nap for 2 hours. Done.
7:25 PM Dyke: I don't have to work until 3PM I think I'll try that!
oh hurt locker for sound?
interesting-I wonder if that's a consolation prize because they didn't vote for the movie as best picture... (I hope not) Dyke:
FagO! Too funny!
7:33 PM When will they come up with a Birth Control pill that WILL protect against STD's??
Dyke: I love how birth control pill commercials always say "the pill does not protect against STDs
OH EM GEE- JINX!
7:34 PM Fag: HAHAHA! Great minds!
7:35 PM Dyke: yay sandra bullock-I love her, the dress is great, she is gorgeous
Fag: Sandra Bullock has such grace
Dyke: "dude make me look good..I'm serious make me look good first...then get all artsy..."
Fag: LOL
7:38 PM Dyke: ok I'll be muting James wonderbread boring lame watered down crap taylor
7:39 PM Fag: Hahah! Amen Sister!
Dyke: Lady Gaga should have done this tribute
7:40 PM Fag: For Real! Poker Face would be a good one
Dyke: my friend put a pic of Al Roker on his face book and commented "r r r roker face, TAKE THAT GAGA" it cracked me up
7:43 PM Fag: HAHA!
7:46 PM J Lo... havnt seen her in awhile
Dyke: I saw an article about her bitching about how she deserves oscar nods for some roles that she did...I never liked her a LOT but when I read that, I lost a lot of respect for her-NO class
7:48 PM and also, what the HELL is this dance thing?
Fag: Thats the problem with a lot of people in Hollywood. They are under the misguided notion that Money=Class...Ummm No!
7:49 PM Good Question...Is this interperative Dance?
Dyke: I like the Fantastic mr fox dance though
I love that there is a thing called "interpretive dance" I thought all dance was interpretive
Yeah I think they are dancing to the sound tracks of nominated movies? or nominated soundtracks?
7:50 PM Also I love when contemporary and classical dance are combined-if it's done well it's super hot
(if not it looks hackneyed and well...awful
7:52 PM Fag: The robot guy was hot...Thats my 2 cents on the dance...
Dyke: yeah the dance was sort of one of those performances where they choreographed it for the mainstream public who don't know anything about dance, so they made it "palatable"
7:53 PM agreed he was.
Oh, I should remember that I"m a dyke and start looking at the ladies more...
7:55 PM Fag: Oh Bradley Cooper... Let me be ur Boy Toy...
| 5 minutes |
8:01 PM Dyke: LOL oh George Clooney, let's pretend we're straight together
OH Best documentary
LOVE this category
8:03 PM I''m really glad that documentaries have gained popularity lately
8:04 PM Fag: Me too...they put some really important issues into the spotlight.
8:05 PM Dyke: And the work that goes into them is exceptional, and totally deserves the recognition as good film making
OH god Tyler Perry-
8:06 PM Fag: Oh look...No fat suit for Tyler Perry today...
8:07 PM Dyke: hate Tyler Perry
Fag: Loved the Snuggie joke!
Dyke: missed it because my housemate doesn't have dvr and wanted to rewatch the dolphin thing
8:08 PM oh! hurt locker for editing!
Fag: Oh...Tyler Perry was giving examples of wide shots and medium shots and then told the camera to go backstage which then showed Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin watching TV in Snuggies
8:09 PM Dyke: (I swear they are doing this so they don't have to give the "big" prize to it)
NICE! that's hilarious
Keanu Reeves
8:10 PM oh neighbor boy getting naked again-AND JUGGLING
Fag: WHAT?? Camera phone...quick
Dyke: I should totally do like the Taylor Swift video and write a note to him
sorry don't have one-I'm terribly low tech
8:11 PM Fag: Darn it! Now I have to rely on Porn...thanks!
8:15 PM Dyke: yeah sorry I'm trying to catch up with technology
OOOOH best foreign language film
Is Coco before Chanel even nominated? I hope so and I hope it wins just because I loves me some Audrey Tautou
8:16 PM nope oh well
8:17 PM Argentinian film wins-AWESOME
Fag: I know...That looked like a good film!
8:18 PM Dyke: South America has never been recognized nearly as much as it should for their amazing films
LOVED The speech too-"thanks to the academy for not considering Nabi a foreign language"!!!
8:21 PM his penis moves just a bit as he juggles....
fer realz
I wonder why he is doing this
Fag: OMG! ur such a tease
8:22 PM Joey's glaze over as he stares into the distance imagining the jiggle
| 5 minutes |
8:27 PM Dyke: imagine Geo Clooney juggling naked!
8:29 PM What do you think of Julianne's dress?
Fag: You're just bragging now
Dyke: oh sorry that wasn't suggesting that the guy looks at all like geo-I was saying I'd rather it was geo instead of a skinny hipster boy
8:30 PM I don't hink Morgan Freeman should win because although I really like him, I don't think he's a great actor. I think he plays the same role in everything he does.
8:31 PM Fag: For real! I think Julianne's dress in classy, not too imaginative but shes cute.
Is the Audio cutting out for u too?
8:32 PM Dyke: yeah, I think the color choice was too conservative for someone with such classic beauty-she can be a bit more daring that dress
no my audio is fine
oh here we go Kate Winslet-FINE.
I really really love the SHAPE of her dress, but the color is a bit too "tin man"
8:33 PM I want Jeff Bridges to win
you?
YAY!
Fag: HE WON!!
8:34 PM Kate Winslet looks adorable...A bit too shiny but I like it
Dyke: mainly because I knew he would have the best speech
8:36 PM Fag: Bring us home, Big Guy!
Dyke: yeah totally-I was wrong about the speech!
Fag: LOL
8:37 PM Dyke: oh did you see colin firth's obvious disappointment? I hope Jezebel dot com does a gif about it.
BARBRA STREISAND! I'm in HEAVEN! Can't wait!
8:38 PM Fag: I didnt notice! Im gonna rewind it
8:39 PM Dyke: no she's not on yet
she's up after the commercial
oh and btw, I just noticed that naked hipster juggling has a girl in his room-he was doing it for her
8:40 PM which is sort of hot
If meryl wins it is only because she has lost so many times
8:41 PM did you see on the cover of one of those gossip rags that supposedly oprah and obama are having an affair?! HILARIOUS!
Fag: No way! Hehe
Dyke: I'd like to think he has better taste
Fag: I rewinded it see Colin Firth...
8:42 PM Dyke: ah, did you see it?
it was sort of awesome
Helen Mirrem (SP?) is really pretty
8:43 PM Fag: She is...I hope I age that gracefully...
Dyke: god, me too.
I think the bourbon has totally gone to my head though
8:44 PM can I just say that I absolutely LOVE actors, and I absolutely LOVE the craft of acting...I wish I could do it
8:45 PM oh gabby is crying
8:46 PM Fag: I know... I would too. Such an amazing story, both hers and Precious
Dyke: totally agreed
8:48 PM Sean Penn has a skinny tie on!
what did his speech mean?
8:49 PM Fag: She Won!!!!!! Yay Sandra!
Dyke: good for her! But she didn't deserve it
8:50 PM her speech is very classy though
8:51 PM Fag: They didnt cut to George
Dyke: I know, sad
8:52 PM Fag: Exquisite. Best Speech so far...Classy, Funny & tear-jerking
8:53 PM Dyke: agreed I have tears.
BABS!
looking a wee tired-not liking the scarf
8:54 PM
ok here we go-best director! who do you want? and who do you think will actually get it?
want=bigelow
actual=cameron
8:55 PM Fag: want=terintino
get =cameron
Yay...Id settle for her
Dyke YAY bigelow got it!
8:56 PM Fag: Go Katherine
Dyke: I didn't cue my tv back up to live I'm about ten seconds behind-so you and my housemate gave it away for me! LOL
8:58 PM what the fuck was cameron shaking his head for? Was it amazement? or that he didn't think she should have won?
Fag: Have you seen The Hurt Locker yet?
Dyke: HURT LOCKER WON!
no, unfortunately I have not
Fag: We just rented it...Im excited to see it now
9:00 PM Dyke: I love that Bigelow is holding BOTH awards-double fisting as it were!
Fag: LOL! Thats hot!
Dyke: yeah it is Goodnight everyone hope you all had as much fun as we did!
| 13 minutes |
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